Losing a loved one is very painful. You may experience all kinds of difficult
emotions and it may feel like the pain and sadness you're experiencing will
never let up. We
often think of grief as a strictly emotional process, but grief often involves
physical problems, including fatigue, nausea, lowered immunity, weight loss or
weight gain, aches and pains, and insomnia.
Normal feelings following a loss are shock
and numbness, feeling
alone or isolated, disorganization
and confusion, guilt, blame, anger
or rage, sadness; crying, physical
pain or other
physical symptoms, anxiety, fear or panic and
a roller-coaster of emotions. Experiencing
the death of your loved one affects
your head, heart and spirit, so you may experience a variety of emotions as
part of your grief work. It is called work because it takes a great deal of
energy and effort to heal. As
strange as some of these emotions may seem, they are normal and healthy.
yourself to learn from these feelings. And don't be surprised if out of nowhere
you suddenly experience floods of grief, even at the most unexpected times. These
grief attacks can be frightening and leave you feeling overwhelmed. They are,
however, a natural response to the death of someone loved.
matter how deep your grief, slowly but surely you'll be pulled back into the
world -- perhaps even against your will. Life has a way of throwing moments our
way that wake us to the possibilities still in front of us.
at first, it's almost certainly going to feel like one step forward, two steps
back. That's okay. Bit by bit your mind will accept what's happened, and you'll
discover new reserves of strength and resilience.
Seek out experiences that feel meaningful. If
seeing your grandchildren is the only thing that gets you out of bed in the
morning, make as many dates as possible to spend time with them. Give back
to others. Many people, when grieving a loss, find comfort in helping others.
It can take you out of yourself and put things in perspective to help others in